Hunter's International Handjob Index

Last edited: March 03, 2022 at 14:10:59

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Disclaimer: This section has been written for a male audience and to serve the needs of our male readers.
It contains information that some (female readers) might find disrespectful. It is by your own choice that you have arrived here.

In 1986, the Economist made headlines with what has since been called the Big Mac Index, a simplified way to measure or compare Purchasing Power Parity (PPP).

PPP is an economic theory offering a way to look at exchange rates. According to PPP, two currencies are at equilibrium when a certain market basket of goods (and services) is priced the same in both countries (after correcting for exchange rates). To put it simply: a haircut or a piece of bread should cost about the same in every country, if related to local income, else no one could afford it. The Economist basically reduced the typical basket of goods to a Big Mac burger and so proposed to compare the price of Big Mac burgers in McDonalds restaurants around the world, instead of using difficult formulas.

In the same way, one could take the example of a basic service (not goods) such a handjob to be the point of reference, in fact one could argue that it is a better measure than a burger because it's a local service that does not depend on resources that need to be imported. Handjobs or Happy Ending massages are needed and given everywhere in every country, they should cost about the same related to local income everywhere, else nobody could afford it.

So in fact an international Handjob or Happy Ending Index makes even more sense than a Big Mac Index, although I'd be the first to understand that it won't be widely adopted by the mainstream.

WHY A HAPPY ENDING INDEX MAKES MORE SENSE THAN A BIG MAC INDEX

One of the problems of using with a Big Mac as the base for an index is that some of its main ingredients could be hard to get in some places. For example beef is not readily available everywhere, sometimes it needs to be imported, and so the higher price of beef will distort the Big Mac Index. In India, the cow is a holy animal, so here a Big Mac Index may go quiet wrong.

Doing field research for an International Handjob Index

A Hand Job Index could just be a much more reliable index of purchasing power around the world, because it just requires mostly unskilled labour and a modest amount of resources, such as oil.

The amount of effort it costs to give a handjob is about the same all over the world. True, some girls make more effort than others, some know tricks and trades or know your sensitivities, but overall a hanky-panky is easier for them than giving a proper massage that makes them more tired, their fingers numb, and their your back stiff.   In a way, the price for a handjob equals the amount of financial compensation the girl needs to overcome her repulsion or discomfort to get manually intimate with your private parts, provided there are enough girls in the market to give you a handjob.

So overall, the price of a handjob should cost about the same everywhere around the world, after including exchange rates.

If there are major differences it could be because:

1. You’ve been fooled. For example, you’re a first-time tourist to Thailand and you just paid 1,000 - 2,000 baht for a handjob because there wasn't enough blood in your brain anymore to wait and figure out the market price for a handjob and the girl simply took advantage; or
2. There are no banknotes in a country with a value close enough to the market price of a handjob.

That there is an inofficial market price for a handjob is beyond doubt: working girls in massage parlours tend to hop around and as an anonymous group determine the price of a handjob. Try to negotiate the price of a handjob with a massage girl and you'll be surprised how convinced she is of the 'official' price or let's say the going rate. In Chiang Mai, over the years, that price seems to have settled around 500 baht. Personally, I think a reasonable price of a handjob should linger around 400 baht, 10 Euro or 10 USD, but who am I to say so, at most you can try to round up your total massage bill to a round figure and this way reduce the damage a bit.
In Thailand, there is no 400 baht banknote, if there was I'm convinced the price of a handjob would settle around that level.

Now, from an economic perspective, the interesting thing about an International Handjob Index is, that you can figure out a whole lot of other things about local living standards from that one threshold value of the price of a handjob: you can compare the price of additional services (blowjob, full service etc.) and even the price of her apartment and her local monthly income and even that of the average customer.
For example, in Thailand the price of sex seems to have settled around 2,000 baht, that's excluding the costs of the lead (the massage fee or the bar fine), no matter where the girl works (a bar, a massage parlour or a brothel), but of course depending on her beauty and level of virginity.

Hunter's International Handjob Index

In other words, an International Handjob Index would offer a lot of interesting material for students of macro-economics and also challenging field research for those doing the hard work collecting the data.

Strange idea to have during a handjob? Perhaps, but then, I had some of my clearest insights in the moments of emptiness right after an orgasm, and as my professor at the university used to say: 'science never leaves you'. But I used to twist that to: 'a dirty mind is a joy forever'.

REFERENCE PRICES FOR EXTRA SERVICES IN CHIANG MAI

Handjob - In general the going rate is 500 baht. Don't get tricked by girls who try to fool you with 1000-2000 baht, especially in the tourist areas. In some cases, for example you may be able to reduce it to 400 or 300 baht, for example if that rounds up the total bill of massage + HJ to a round figure or if you have take a massage with the girl before. Also if you had a Karsai massage, the girl will already earn a good part and she knows you're about to explode anyway, then the extra tip doesn't have to be much.
In general, I think it's not so worth to negotiate too much, it will spoil the atmosphere and some girls don't feel respected so she may not be so welcoming when you see her next time.

Blowjob - In Chiang Mai, most girls don't give blowjobs, unlike in other places like Vietnam where it's almost as common as a HJ. Your best chance for bare blowjobs are in some of the body-to-body massage parlours where girls are already used to get intimate and where 'spray' (blowjob, normally with condom) is often part of the menu. Expect to pay up to 500 baht extra.

Taking off shirt - Most massage girls sell what they've got under their clothes in 2 phases: tops and pants. So you can see and touch her breasts if you pay her to take off her tops and you can see the rest if you pay more. Phase 1 is typically 500 baht and phase 2 also 500 baht, so she'll completely undress for 1000 baht. This doesn't give you sex yet.
If you go to the body-to-body massage parlours, of course a naked girl is already part of the menu so that's cheaper but you won't get a noteworthy massage.

Full service (sex) - This will vary greatly. There are body-to-body massage parlours where the girls are so used to doing it that they only ask for 500 baht extra (!), on top of the body-to-body massage that you ordered at the reception. Then, there are also those who ask a staggering 2000-3000 baht extra, so you pay say 1,700 baht for the body to body massage and then you still got to pay 2000-3000 baht for sex, that will break the bank significantly.
But nowadays, because of the covid-competition, plenty of places offer mediocre massage or body-to-body massage for only 1,500!
I'd say the average rate for sex is about 2000 baht, most sidelines ask around that price, the discount on sex is most possible if you have already paid for the basic package (whether that be massage or body-to-body massage).
Another way to get discounts on sex is to go for the quickie menu: many places offer a shortened menu of 40min or sometimes even half an hour instead of the 'traditional' 1 hour and a half or 1 hour and 10 min or so.

Sleeping over - The fees for that vary greatly, depending on the girl. It could cost you a few thousand for sideline girls. The idea is of course that you do her a few times during the night.

Taking her on a trip - That's a hard guess. Some guys perhaps pay a fee per day, others an all-in price for the whole week. It also depends on your relationship with the girl, of course: if she's a total stranger she'll ask much more than if you know each other to some extent and she thinks you're not a creep. I'd be surprised if you would be able to get her to fly with you for 5k for a week (all tickets, hotel and food included), that would mean she has a crush on you. More realistically, you'd have to think of X0,000 baht. Most importantly, she has to think you're a nice guy and a gentleman, not a creep, because she's going all alone with you in a hotel room.

Monty Python's legendary episode of sex eduation - The Meaning of Life

Hunter

Share with me your experience about the price of handjobs around the world to help me complete my field research.

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